Just another thought...

Georgie n I at Macy Park
     We met on a tragic day.
     Justin had passed away from cancer just a few days prior to our knowledge of each others existence. I will always remember that day. I was sitting on a bench outside wearing a black dress a little above my knee with heels as high as I could take. I couldn't believe he was actually gone; never feeling the warmth of his hugs for the last time or encountering his smile as we walked into the room that he filled with laughter and happiness.
     My skin was as pale as a winter itself and my lips red as wine. Marco and Andrew approached me and brought along a friend. He was introduced to me as George; this scrawny boy with long hair who couldn't keep himself still.
     We all laughed and caught up with each others lives; and just like that... the night ended.
     A year passed and Aerial was having a kick back gathering for her birthday. Her intentions where to "hook" me up with a friend of her boyfriends who had apparently been wanting to meet me. I don't praise myself as a piece of meat to be shared with just anybody. I wanted to hang out with someone... different. No one that I usually hang out with. I came across Georgies number and asked this particular guy whom I've been speaking with through text what he was doing. We ended up meeting that night for the first time since Justins wake and spent all morning till about 5am in the car listening to tunes and getting to know about each other. After that morning we started hanging out more and more. 
     I miss our carefree outings when we'll just hang out at Macy Park, lay on a sheet and ramble about everything and nothing all in one. We made photography happen. He taught me how to love Rock Band and we soon became two nerds who spent most of their evenings playing and singing cover songs.
     Although everything now is great. It seems as if reality has slapped us in the face and told us GROW UP or you'll be fucked. There's nothing wrong with growing up but I'm only 20 years old. I feel like I'm 60 sometimes. I'm tired and all I want to do is curl up into a little ball, put on my cool socks, blast my ipod, and read my book under a yellow umbrella (an ACTUAL umbrella, yes it makes me feel better). 

     Oh father time if you could just hold still... just for a moment.


  1. Stop feeling old. Keep doing it and eventually it'll become true. Have to keep your inner dork strong and care free. When it isn't time to go to work anyway.

  2. i love that photograph. i'd marry it, if such a thing were legal.

  3. ...Are you feeling okay? Moving on is necessary. It can make you happy. =]

  4. @Chris: That's the thing.. I'm ALWAYS working.. and on my day off I'm a volunteer at a school because I need experience to become a teacher. I just need time for my mind to play and away from numbers. But I'm sucking it up in the meantime. I know this isn't permanent.

    @Vencora: Thank you! I'm sure the photograph would gladly marry you back seeming that you're a lovely person =)

    @Oliver: I'm okay.. He was one of my best friends and I just missed him all the time. Now he's gone and I've learned to let go and move on, but my mind ponders every now n then as to what things would be like if he were still here.

  5. Oh, I know that feeling. I'm glad you're feeling okay. Stay happy!

    I want everyone to be happy!