10.12.10

Ridiculous Me

Nancy Love Photography
     
     I close my eyes and imagine that everything I would like to be true... is... 
     I open them and receive a kiss from my dearest friend Reality... she says to me "Sweetheart.. that world doesn't exists in anyones else's eyes but yours... n that's what makes you.. you. It's not a horrible thing to dream and hope, if anything it's those thoughts that keep you from going mad." 
     I sometimes hate being a girl... especially in my shoes. I'm a hopelessly romantic fuck. I want the fairy tale that isn't real. I'm the type of person that thinks but never speaks up for herself. I'm too much of a push over sometimes and I hate that people take advantage of it... Inconsiderate people know how to push my buttons. 
     Realize that everything is changing Nancy Love... stop trying to make things what they use to be... it's not going to happen. It's either gonna get better or worse. You're happy place no longer exists. You have to start again and find yourself.
     I crave this constant need for attention. I don't know what kind of attention though.. it varies in most cases I suppose. To be hugged and smiled at, feeling wanted and not just there. To be looked at as a someone and not as a no-one. Not having that feeling of being ignored from the people you feel give a fuck. 
     Excuse my being melodramatic. 
     My mind won't let me rest and I believe it is the reason why I haven't been myself.

4 comments:

  1. Don't lose that optimism. I think it's the key to happiness. Once its beaten out of you things get dark.

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  2. agree with chritopher!
    beautiful written though..

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  3. It's a good thing to hope, but what are you hoping in? If you try to find it in yourself you'll never find the peace that will still your soul. I'm hopelessly romantic, too, but sometimes waiting is beautiful. I've tried before to be at peace on my own, but it never satisfies. Never give up on joy. And never let what other people think or the way they treat you determine your value.

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