I didn't go to work today.. I feel sad.. I suppose it was about time I broke down.. Keeping my head up always helped, but putting on a mask of happiness just made me bottle everything in.. I don't know who I am anymore.. I use to be this girl who had something to look forward to, and now is just lost.. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for .. or if I'm looking for anything at all.. memories of my past haunt my everyday life.. like a beautiful lullaby with a sad melody painted across a midnight purple sky..
I've fallen once again and I don't know how to get up and start walking again.. My heart is barely breathing.. I wish there was someone I could just talk to.. I use to be so strong and independent.. today I feel weak and pathetic.. the thing is nothing tragic happened.. I just woke up feeling sad and I'm not sure why.. I decided to write what is on my mind and perhaps it will give me some clue..
I was remembering the nights when we use to lay in the middle of the street listening to Billie Holiday, when you would fiddle playing acoustic songs on the guitar, I remember we would play in the jungle gym and stay on the swings until 3am talking about philosophy, the moon, the rocks, the stars.. we invented a language that only we two understood..
Georgie is my everything.. He truly is.. I think he's the only person on this earth that can make me smile in an instant without even trying.. I don't like talking to him about my being melancholy because it breaks my heart to see him sad..I have many friends but it's hard to really distinguish which ones are true and which ones will leave..
